Andrea's Obituary
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Andrea Loren Errath (Gibson), born April 18th, 1972, passed away peacefully at home on Tuesday, August 6th, 2024 (52 years), after a courageous and brutal battle with pancreatic cancer. Beloved wife of Todd, loving mother to Dalton, cherished daughter-in-law to Jerry and Diane Errath, and adored sister-in-law to Joe & Tracy (Errath) McGoldrick. Andrea was also loved by many other relatives, amazing and supportive neighbors, and caring, loving friends.
Andrea faced her terminal illness head on. She asked her care team to always be honest and upfront. She battled her disease courageously and fearlessly, yet with a calm gracefulness. She went out of her way to show gratitude to all who helped her along the way, from doctors and nurses to housekeeping staff and technicians. Her battle was filled with challenges and brutal side-effects, yet she still was able to smile and say thank you. She spent her final months focused on living, enjoying the brief life she had left. |
Andrea received the most amazing care from her team of doctors and nurses. Special recognition goes to Dr. Mohamad Ali Raza, MD (Oncology) and Dr. Kelly Cooke, DO (Palliative), along with dozens of fantastic, compassionate, and caring PAs, NPs, RNs, LPNs, CNAs and other smiling and friendly support staff at both the UW Cancer Center at Prohealth-Pewaukee and the 2SW Oncology Team at Waukesha Memorial Hospital. Their unwavering commitment to Andrea will never be forgotten.
Andrea was a loving and supportive wife and a caring and committed mother. Family was the single most important thing to her. She was also a loyal friend, spreading smiles and positivity with whomever she met through sweet little phrases or cute nicknames. Most importantly, Andrea was a loving, kind and compassionate person who always looked to find the good in people. Her desire to do her part to make the world a better place was obvious to anyone who met her.
Andrea was also an incredibly talented baker and cookie artist, and owned her own cookie business, Andrea’s Sweet Shoppe. Anyone who has ever seen or eaten one of her cookies knows just how amazing and talented she was. Her business was growing and expanding and becoming quite successful until her cancer diagnosis took that away from her.
In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to Trisha’s Troops in Delafield (triciastroops.org), a donation to a local animal shelter, or consider donating books, beanies or blankets to the amazing UW Health Cancer Center at Prohealth in Pewaukee.
Andrea was a loving and supportive wife and a caring and committed mother. Family was the single most important thing to her. She was also a loyal friend, spreading smiles and positivity with whomever she met through sweet little phrases or cute nicknames. Most importantly, Andrea was a loving, kind and compassionate person who always looked to find the good in people. Her desire to do her part to make the world a better place was obvious to anyone who met her.
Andrea was also an incredibly talented baker and cookie artist, and owned her own cookie business, Andrea’s Sweet Shoppe. Anyone who has ever seen or eaten one of her cookies knows just how amazing and talented she was. Her business was growing and expanding and becoming quite successful until her cancer diagnosis took that away from her.
In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to Trisha’s Troops in Delafield (triciastroops.org), a donation to a local animal shelter, or consider donating books, beanies or blankets to the amazing UW Health Cancer Center at Prohealth in Pewaukee.
Memorial Service Program
A Tribute to the Love of My Life
Such an Amazing Woman
The service included many wonderful speeches from Andrea's family, friends and care team, but sadly, I do not have their speeches to include. What follows are the words I chose to honor my wife and begin her legacy.
In early January of 2023, Andrea and I walked into the ER at Waukesha Memorial not knowing our lives would soon be forever changed. Our path as a couple went from hope and endless possibilities to heartache and a devastating outcome. Our lives would never be normal again.
Hearing the words “terminal cancer” will forever alter the lens you view the world through. As a couple, we were forced to have excruciating conversations about things couples should never have to speak of and make decisions where there was no good outcome. We quickly realized there were only two paths to take. One filled with bitterness, anger and feeling sorry for ourselves, or one filled with gratitude, love and making the most of every day. For us, the choice was easy.
Before I explain how amazing Andrea did dealing with her disease and hopeless situation, I need to explain how hard her journey truly was. Pancreatic cancer is ruthless and inhumane. It combines pain, nausea, vomiting and digestive issues, and that’s before the treatment. Once chemotherapy begins, all those symptoms worsen. Andrea’s body struggled with the toxicity from both types of her chemo treatments, causing more side effects and complications than normal, and eventually causing them to stop her second treatment option altogether.
Her body also failed her when it came to her medications. They were never truly able to find a nausea medication that worked. Her body struggled to metabolize her pain meds, causing it to take nearly a year before the right narcotic at the right dose would offer her any true relief.
There were roughly a dozen hospital stays, the shortest being 4 days, the longest being 24 days, with a typical stay usually around 9 days. There were weeks she was so exhausted she could not get out of bed except to use the bathroom, so weak she could not walk, so sick she could not eat or drink.
Cancer takes so much from those suffering from it. Andrea lost so many pleasures and joys due to her cancer, but she made it her mission to not let it take ALL of them. At the end of each day, we would talk about all the things she enjoyed that day… Great weather, seeing a friend, getting to have ice, not throwing up, seeing a deer in our yard… Andrea felt blessed for even the smallest of joys she experienced each day.
Andrea woke up every day knowing it was going to be a struggle. Physical side effects were a daily battle, along with the emotional torment one deals with knowing you’re dying and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. Despite these struggles, Andrea knew she had just one life to live, and now, even with hers cut short, she was going to make the most of the time she had left, no matter her struggles. My wife faced every day with a smile and a goal of making the most from it. It was a true blessing to witness that level of fortitude.
As family and friends of Andrea, we are left on this earth to deal with grief and death, her death. Each of us will deal with it differently. Each of us lost something different… a friend, a neighbor, a patient, an inspirational light, a beautiful person, or an amazing wife. Andrea, on the other hand, spent the last months of her life dealing with her mortality and all the questions which come with that… What do I want to accomplish in the time I have left? What will my legacy be? What happens when we die? Will God forgive my sins and accept me?
Facing those questions every day is exhausting, so Andrea adopted a new perspective. Sometimes, today is just about today. Live in the moment. Appreciate the day for whatever it offers and be grateful for it. Some of the most beautiful things in life are fleeting… a sunset, a rainbow, the way trees look after a snowfall, Andrea’s time here with us… and we need to appreciate these things before they vanish.
Life is not a race or competition, but we tend to treat it that way. We are always striving for more. One of the hardest things in life is to appreciate all that we have. The sooner you can escape the superficial, the sooner you can appreciate what really matters. Andrea had that ability, and focused her last months on things which truly mattered… Solidifying relationships with family and friends, enjoying nature and all the beauty it offers, reconnecting with her faith, making sure those who loved her knew she loved them too, and showing gratitude for all and to all. Instead of asking “Do I have enough” Andrea would challenge us to ask, “Do I give enough?” or, “Do I do enough for others?”
It is often stated that a person’s true character is best defined in times of great stress and adversity. As Andrea endured an incredibly painful journey, both physically and emotionally, she showed amazing grace, gratitude and compassion for others. She would spend her time at the cancer center or her hospital stays asking others how they were doing, learning about their families, encouraging them to do things they were putting off. She would tell people how kind they were, how beautiful they were, how much joy they brought her. She showed she cared.
Small acts of kindness like that have a lasting impression, often for a lifetime. We all have the potential to create a lasting impression through our words or actions. You don’t need to seek them out, they will find you. You just need to recognize them and have the compassion, empathy and willingness to act. Andrea lived her life this way, it was her personality, who she was. She had a lasting impact on so many people, including all of us here today.
Andrea impacted my life in so many ways and I will miss her so much. I will miss her laugh, her smile, her pretty nails, and the way she would say “Sweetie?” or “Hey, Babe!?” I will miss her cooking and baking, having dinner together, her car dancing, and all of her wonderful smells – She always smelled SO good!! I will miss our great conversations, going for walks, kissing her goodnight, and her beautiful eyes. I will miss the way she would look and react to things like it was the first time she had ever experienced it, or how she would look over EVERYTHING at a rummage sale. I will miss her showing me videos from the internet, finding her socks in the sheets when I changed the bedding, and tripping over shoes she would leave in the most random spots around the house. I will miss the way she would sit in the sun, letting it warm her face, or when she would sit in her inflatable "mermaid shell" in the backyard and read. I will miss the way she would listen to the breeze, watch the wildlife in our yard, or feed her chickens… well, technically, our neighbor’s chickens.
During Andrea’s journey, I would often tell people or write in emails that words cannot accurately describe the love I have for my wife. I feel now is the perfect time to put into words the love I hold for Andrea.
From the day I met my wife, I committed myself to her as a man, a husband, a father and friend. I would tell her EVERY day I loved her and that she was beautiful. When she became ill, I promised her I would always be by her side, that she would never be alone in her journey. I would wake up every day and try to be the best husband, friend and caregiver I could be. I would take her anywhere or buy her anything, at any time of day, if it would bring her even the smallest amount of joy. I gave her everything I had every day.
Yet, I woke each day feeling like I had failed her, that I could have done more… more special trips or experiences… that I should have done more for her that day, that I should have tried to create more special moments, that it is somehow my fault she’s sick, that I've let her down by not finding a way to save her life, that I failed to help her the one time she needed me most. THAT is how much I love my wife.
Now that she has passed, I wake up every day feeling guilty I’m still here, guilty when I have a moment of normalcy in my day, worried I won’t succeed in keeping the promise I made to carry on her legacy, to fight for others like us so they do not have to go through the same pain, heartache and suffering we did. I still make decisions based on what I think she would want or what I feel would make her proud of me. That is how much I STILL love my wife.
Andrea’s journey, as painful and heartbreaking as it was, has given us all a gift. She has shown us how to deal with unimaginable circumstances with grace and gratitude. She has inspired all of us to make the most of each day, no matter the challenges or size of victories. She has encouraged all of us to have compassion and empathy for others, regardless of our own situation. She reminded us there is beauty in the world, we just need to look for and appreciate it. Make the most of each day, appreciate what you have, and be sure to tell those you love how much you love them and how special they are.
Hearing the words “terminal cancer” will forever alter the lens you view the world through. As a couple, we were forced to have excruciating conversations about things couples should never have to speak of and make decisions where there was no good outcome. We quickly realized there were only two paths to take. One filled with bitterness, anger and feeling sorry for ourselves, or one filled with gratitude, love and making the most of every day. For us, the choice was easy.
Before I explain how amazing Andrea did dealing with her disease and hopeless situation, I need to explain how hard her journey truly was. Pancreatic cancer is ruthless and inhumane. It combines pain, nausea, vomiting and digestive issues, and that’s before the treatment. Once chemotherapy begins, all those symptoms worsen. Andrea’s body struggled with the toxicity from both types of her chemo treatments, causing more side effects and complications than normal, and eventually causing them to stop her second treatment option altogether.
Her body also failed her when it came to her medications. They were never truly able to find a nausea medication that worked. Her body struggled to metabolize her pain meds, causing it to take nearly a year before the right narcotic at the right dose would offer her any true relief.
There were roughly a dozen hospital stays, the shortest being 4 days, the longest being 24 days, with a typical stay usually around 9 days. There were weeks she was so exhausted she could not get out of bed except to use the bathroom, so weak she could not walk, so sick she could not eat or drink.
Cancer takes so much from those suffering from it. Andrea lost so many pleasures and joys due to her cancer, but she made it her mission to not let it take ALL of them. At the end of each day, we would talk about all the things she enjoyed that day… Great weather, seeing a friend, getting to have ice, not throwing up, seeing a deer in our yard… Andrea felt blessed for even the smallest of joys she experienced each day.
Andrea woke up every day knowing it was going to be a struggle. Physical side effects were a daily battle, along with the emotional torment one deals with knowing you’re dying and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it. Despite these struggles, Andrea knew she had just one life to live, and now, even with hers cut short, she was going to make the most of the time she had left, no matter her struggles. My wife faced every day with a smile and a goal of making the most from it. It was a true blessing to witness that level of fortitude.
As family and friends of Andrea, we are left on this earth to deal with grief and death, her death. Each of us will deal with it differently. Each of us lost something different… a friend, a neighbor, a patient, an inspirational light, a beautiful person, or an amazing wife. Andrea, on the other hand, spent the last months of her life dealing with her mortality and all the questions which come with that… What do I want to accomplish in the time I have left? What will my legacy be? What happens when we die? Will God forgive my sins and accept me?
Facing those questions every day is exhausting, so Andrea adopted a new perspective. Sometimes, today is just about today. Live in the moment. Appreciate the day for whatever it offers and be grateful for it. Some of the most beautiful things in life are fleeting… a sunset, a rainbow, the way trees look after a snowfall, Andrea’s time here with us… and we need to appreciate these things before they vanish.
Life is not a race or competition, but we tend to treat it that way. We are always striving for more. One of the hardest things in life is to appreciate all that we have. The sooner you can escape the superficial, the sooner you can appreciate what really matters. Andrea had that ability, and focused her last months on things which truly mattered… Solidifying relationships with family and friends, enjoying nature and all the beauty it offers, reconnecting with her faith, making sure those who loved her knew she loved them too, and showing gratitude for all and to all. Instead of asking “Do I have enough” Andrea would challenge us to ask, “Do I give enough?” or, “Do I do enough for others?”
It is often stated that a person’s true character is best defined in times of great stress and adversity. As Andrea endured an incredibly painful journey, both physically and emotionally, she showed amazing grace, gratitude and compassion for others. She would spend her time at the cancer center or her hospital stays asking others how they were doing, learning about their families, encouraging them to do things they were putting off. She would tell people how kind they were, how beautiful they were, how much joy they brought her. She showed she cared.
Small acts of kindness like that have a lasting impression, often for a lifetime. We all have the potential to create a lasting impression through our words or actions. You don’t need to seek them out, they will find you. You just need to recognize them and have the compassion, empathy and willingness to act. Andrea lived her life this way, it was her personality, who she was. She had a lasting impact on so many people, including all of us here today.
Andrea impacted my life in so many ways and I will miss her so much. I will miss her laugh, her smile, her pretty nails, and the way she would say “Sweetie?” or “Hey, Babe!?” I will miss her cooking and baking, having dinner together, her car dancing, and all of her wonderful smells – She always smelled SO good!! I will miss our great conversations, going for walks, kissing her goodnight, and her beautiful eyes. I will miss the way she would look and react to things like it was the first time she had ever experienced it, or how she would look over EVERYTHING at a rummage sale. I will miss her showing me videos from the internet, finding her socks in the sheets when I changed the bedding, and tripping over shoes she would leave in the most random spots around the house. I will miss the way she would sit in the sun, letting it warm her face, or when she would sit in her inflatable "mermaid shell" in the backyard and read. I will miss the way she would listen to the breeze, watch the wildlife in our yard, or feed her chickens… well, technically, our neighbor’s chickens.
During Andrea’s journey, I would often tell people or write in emails that words cannot accurately describe the love I have for my wife. I feel now is the perfect time to put into words the love I hold for Andrea.
From the day I met my wife, I committed myself to her as a man, a husband, a father and friend. I would tell her EVERY day I loved her and that she was beautiful. When she became ill, I promised her I would always be by her side, that she would never be alone in her journey. I would wake up every day and try to be the best husband, friend and caregiver I could be. I would take her anywhere or buy her anything, at any time of day, if it would bring her even the smallest amount of joy. I gave her everything I had every day.
Yet, I woke each day feeling like I had failed her, that I could have done more… more special trips or experiences… that I should have done more for her that day, that I should have tried to create more special moments, that it is somehow my fault she’s sick, that I've let her down by not finding a way to save her life, that I failed to help her the one time she needed me most. THAT is how much I love my wife.
Now that she has passed, I wake up every day feeling guilty I’m still here, guilty when I have a moment of normalcy in my day, worried I won’t succeed in keeping the promise I made to carry on her legacy, to fight for others like us so they do not have to go through the same pain, heartache and suffering we did. I still make decisions based on what I think she would want or what I feel would make her proud of me. That is how much I STILL love my wife.
Andrea’s journey, as painful and heartbreaking as it was, has given us all a gift. She has shown us how to deal with unimaginable circumstances with grace and gratitude. She has inspired all of us to make the most of each day, no matter the challenges or size of victories. She has encouraged all of us to have compassion and empathy for others, regardless of our own situation. She reminded us there is beauty in the world, we just need to look for and appreciate it. Make the most of each day, appreciate what you have, and be sure to tell those you love how much you love them and how special they are.